Sleep = Relax

Today is one of the best days of my.. well, of the last ten months of my life. I am one of those unfortunate mothers who didn't understand the importance of letting her baby learn to put herself to sleep. I craved holding my baby and watching her beautiful eyes close as she fell asleep. It was so tender, and I loved to hold her little form to me. That was eight months ago. Now I dread every nap and every night because I don't want to deal with the energy and patience it takes to put her to sleep. But today is a grand day. Today, at one week shy of ten months, Abigail has finally decided that she can put herself to sleep. I've tried repeatedly to let her cry it out in the past, but she would cry and cry for what seemed like hours (but was really only an hour). Gracious, I say "only" as if it was easy. They were always the worst hours of my life. I would end up on the phone crying to my own mother about how I was a horrible mother and I shouldn't let her cry. I soon gave up on that and continued bouncing/rocking/singing Abigail to sleep. Abigail is now twenty-one pounds. That is not a small weight to bounce for twenty minutes to have her only sleep for thirty minutes. So after we got home from California, I decided to try something different. I decided to try to let her cry it out again. Going to California completely messed up her nighttime schedule, so we had to let her cry it out at night to get back on schedule. It worked so I decided to let her try putting herself to sleep that next night. That was last night and it worked. So today, I decided to try it for naps. She cried mercilessly for ten minutes and then was suddenly asleep. I was absolutely floored. She was actually asleep! I don't even know what to do with the excess energy or relaxation I feel. It's amazing! And she used to sleep on my bed so I had to be there when she woke up so she didn't crawl off. Now she's in her crib so I can walk freely about my house or even outside with no fears! I know this sounds so retarded to other mothers. I obviously went about things the wrong way and Abby's curiosity and passion for life hasn't helped--she just always wants to be up. I'm sure none of you have had to deal with this, and if you have, then I love you even more for understanding how hard this is.
I feel so liberated. I might actually cry.