Too many voices.

I will admit that I have been shocked by several of my friends' responses to the world these days. Many believe that the church is "old-fashioned" or not "open-minded" enough. They are angry with statements made by general authorities or they feel like somehow the church is wrong. There are so many voices telling us what to believe, what to think, what to feel. Some of the hardest trials for me have been understanding my role as a mother. For years I harbored the attitude of the world that women in the church were relatively "oppressed," and we should be able to have careers if we want. Or to not have families if we want. But this was an attitude I learned from the world, not from the gospel. And it was only when I recognized the truth that I felt peace. Now there are other ideals coming out more strongly--you know what I mean--that threaten the church. But I guess they don't really threaten the church. Just the members and their testimonies. The church will always move forward, but some of its members may not.

I've been reading Alma in the Book of Mormon this week. It seems to me that almost every major battle between the Lamanites and the Nephites is started by Nephite dissenters. The dissenters get bitter with the church, for whatever reason, and stir up the Lamanites against the Nephites. Doesn't that seem how it is today? So many people get angry and leave the church. And somehow they believe that they can destroy the church if they get the world involved to beat us down. It's rather comical to me how unoriginal that idea is. Heavens, it was going on years before Christ. Why would it work now?

I found this video on Mormon Messages. I've watched it many times, but today it felt even more pertinent. What voices are we listening to? It's sad how difficult it is to block out the voices of the world. But it's so so important that we understand the truth of the gospel and the voice of the Spirit vs. the ugly lies that Satan has made so popular in the world today.

Today is Friday.

Oh my heavens.

Abby took a nap during Saturday afternoon conference...

And hasn't had one since.

Can I tell you how utterly exhausted I am?

I just didn't have the patience to handle Abby today. I needed her to stop for thirty seconds so I could reboot. I read in an article one time that a woman would lock herself in the bathroom for five minutes to get some "me" time and then she'd feel more ready to conquer the world (or her children). So I tried that today. I came out feeling slightly better... until I realized Abby wasn't eating lunch where she was supposed to be... and it was too quiet. I wish I had pictures. I found her in the living room, behind her easel, "painting her toenails" with a marker. Seriously? In five minutes? She now has wonderfully gross looking toes and toenails. I about lost it again. So I threw the girls in my heaven-sent stroller and went for a walk. Ran into friend. Talked for ten minutes before I realized I had never done my bra up again after nursing Claire... Awkward. How does one not notice that?! But it sure is visible from the front! I think I just never looked at a mirror before we left on the walk. It was a frumpy day. I didn't want to see myself. That was an overshare. Sorry, Sarah and Maryn and the few men who read this blog. But I died of humiliation. I was on the sidewalk. Where am I supposed to stop to fix that?? I dropped behind my stroller. Got home and was in such a funk STILL that we ate mac n' cheese and donuts for dinner. And even after hours of attempted cleaning, my house looks like an F5 tornado went through.

I love being a mom.

To be fair, we have discovered the joys of preschool this week to help. I wasn't planning on preschool until next year, but when an opening came up in this woman's preschool down the street, I plugged Abigail in. So really I get a break Tu and Th from 1-3. I can actually get something done without Abby destroying another room in the house simultaneously. It helps, but holy cannoli this "no nap" phase is going to be a big adjustment. I'm used to a break at least every other day.

And now for pictures. What do you do when your cousin is a wonderful photographer? Abuse her. My sister was in town from Chicago so this was part of our fun!

I love love love these pictures. And I love love love my girls. Even when I feel like my head might explode from chasing Abbs non-stop. Again these are only a fraction of the awesomeness that my cousin produces. And Lisa, I may harass you one more time before we move... if that's okay. Love to all!

She is so not my daughter. ;)

Yes, but a very cute moose

I'm so watching this movie this weekend. A mindless pleasure. :)

This is what's in my head. And it's a lot.

You have been warned.

This post is about what's floating in my head. And there's a lot.

I think I've been super lame to just post pictures and such lately. While pictures are wonderful, sometimes you actually want something to read.... right? So how about an update on our life?

We'll start with Jesse. Can I just tell you I have the best husband in the world? I dropped my favorite earring down the air vent in my bathroom. It was gone, folks. To me, it was gone. I slumped to the floor of the kitchen (it had been a long day) and tried to cry, but I was too exhausted for tears. So after dinner Jesse invaded the basement, worked some handyman magic, and VOILA... he had my earring. My orange flower earring. Props to my awesome husband.
Jesse is a TA in the Animation labs every day for x amount of hours and he only has one class to attend. So we get to spend a lot of mornings with him. He goes running and we go walking. Usually at some point we meet up on the route and he walks the rest of the way with us. And then he helps me get the girls ready for the day while I take my sweet time showering. Ah...

Have I told you how much I LOVE my husband?
I'm sorry, but he's totally better than your husband.

Jesse is also pushing to get the senior film done. To be honest, I have no idea how it's going. He doesn't tell me much. But I DO know that in January, we're moving to Washington for a real grown-up job with Microsoft Games Studio. Did you know that? For reals. Permanent. Settling. Never coming back.

I just might cry.

Abigail is ... so Abigail. Super active, talkative, mischievous, beautiful, hilarious, INDEPENDENT, active, mischievous... oh wait.. I mentioned those already. They deserve a double mention.

Me (singing while driving): "One step at a time... one hope than another.."
Abby: Mom, are you talking to yourself?
Me: .... yes...
Abby (SO sassy-like): Um, why?

At TJMaxx
Abby: Mom! Oh my goodness! Look at these shoes! They're fifty-hundred dollars!
Me: Crazy! We really can't afford those then.
Abby: No we definitely can't.

Today Abby jumped on her bed, fell, and smashed her face on her headboard. Her cheek is currently blue.

Claire is my angel. My sweet creamy-skinned joy. Though she discovered her voice this week and often sounds a bit like a pterodactyl. Or a velociraptor. Take your pick. I can't get enough of this baby though. She is ALWAYS happy and smiling. I can't emphasize the ALWAYS. ...unless there is a camera out. I am so in love with my baby.

And my double jogging stroller.

And that's bring us to

ME.

I went to Washington under the assumption that it was only for Jesse. That I was just there to support him and endure the summer. I learned more about myself in that one summer than in the 24 years I've been myself. I learned about the importance of friends. And how to make friends. How to be more generous. How much I've needed good girlfriends and I've just never known it. How much I LOVE my Washington friends. How much I LOVE my new and old friends in Provo.

Is there a theme here?

How much I truly need to appreciate and live the gospel EVERY DAY. I am truly sorry that it took my daughter falling out of window for me to truly, truly understand this. After that experience, I can never, NEVER deny that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are ALWAYS with us. They are ALWAYS aware of us: our actions, thoughts, words, tempers, laughter, etc.
They were with me at the accident. They were with me in the hospital. They helped me walk back in my apartment when I thought I never could step foot in there again.
They were with me today as I cleaned my house to general conference talks.

Can I emphasize to you how important it is that we are righteous in this life? So that we can have happiness in the next life? So that we are not bound to misery after this life?

Jesus Christ lives. He's not an imaginary being. He is real. And He's coming again.

I only pray that I can get myself in line so that when He comes I will be ready. At the moment, we have a LONG way to go... but I'm trying.

I love my girls. I love my husband. I love that I've been richly blessed in this life. I love that the gospel gives me the power to endure trials and fight them with hope. If you ever have a moment when you begin to doubt the power of the gospel, the power of Jesus Christ, the power of the priesthood---then call me. And I'll help you remember.

And that's about it as far as the thoughts go in my head. How about some pictures, YES?

Claire in the London dress from Sarah. Yes, from London.

Abby in the Chicago tutu from Sarah. And with raspberry on her face.

Luke and Abigail at Zac Freeman's wedding. The bow dress is from my mom (I can't give Sarah clothing credit and not my mom. It wouldn't be fair.)

Our first family picture since Claire was born. What took us so long? But aren't we HOT?! I thought so. ;) Love you!

Abigail and Claire

I had my cousin take some pictures of my girls a week ago. These don't even begin to scrape the surface of the amazing cute pictures she took. But I had to share some of them. They are Abby and Claire as I see them everyday. Love love love these pictures.

And yes, Sarah, more will be emailed to you later.

This just makes me want to have more kids... so I can have super cute pictures taken of them.

Gracious, I need help.