Good morning, Ben.

I'm stuck in a hospital alone until tomorrow. I might as well blog, right? Plus you're all DYING to know what happened. Bwahahahaha....

But first, a few pictures.

Welcome to the world, little dude.

Benjamin Joseph Larsen
7 lbs (okay technically 6 lbs 15.9 oz. They rounded up to 7) 19 inches long

Abigail meets baby brother. She says she already loves her baby brother. And she wonders if my tv works in the room. Cursed tv's...

First, before you "oh" and "ah" over how cute this picture is, check out that curl behind Claire's ear! She's getting hair! And who knows what color it is. Red blonde? Sure seems like it. Claire spent her time here saying "Hi baby Ben!" over and over and over. And she refused to let anyone take him from her. "Mine baby Ben!! Mine turn!"

Eyes. :)

So here's the story. I woke up Thursday morning and things felt "different." My body hurt a little more, the pain was a little more sharp, however not any contractions. But it definitely felt different. Around 3 p.m. I actually started noticing contractions. And they weren't just the dull ache kind, but the painful kind. They happened about every 20-30 mins, sometimes every hour, for several hours. I even went and walked the mall that night with my creative brilliant friend. They never really got any stronger or any more consistently. I went home, watched tv, attempted laundry, and finally was able to fall asleep around 12:30.

Unfortunately I only slept about 1 1/2 hrs. I kept waking up with each contraction and finally around 2 a.m. I realized that they were happening pretty frequently.

So yes, I am retarded. I had never dealt with timing contractions because my girls were induced. From what I read, they were supposed to be five minutes apart, lasting a minute, for at least an hour. My friends told me that oftentimes the hospital won't admit you until they're 2-3 minutes apart, and you can't be able to walk or talk through the contractions.

From 2-4:15 a.m. I paced my kitchen and living room floor and timed my contractions. Ever since I had gotten up they were at 2-4 minutes apart, but they weren't unbearable. I could definitely still walk, and I could kind of talk. I finally woke up Jesse and told him to call the hospital to ask. They said to take a shower, eat something, and then come in. We called Brilliantly Creative and she came over around 5 a.m. I don't think Jesse totally understood how far I was because he kind of seemed to be taking his time.... In the meantime, Brilliantly Creative was cracking up every time I had a contraction because I just doubled over and wanted to curse. She knows I've never experienced this. She knew I was in for a new experience.

And who knew that it would be THAT new. So, we jump in the car at 5:20 a.m. They admit me at 5:37 a.m. and leisurely walk me to my room. In the meantime, I'm stopping and dying with every contraction. They freakin' hurt. My lands. I change into my gown, lay on the bed, completely expecting to hear, "You're only at a 4, so go home." I had an argument all planned out in my head about how I go from a 4 to a 10 super fast so I needed to stay. I had never timed contractions before; I didn't know how hard they needed to be or anything. But before I could say anything, the nurse quickly looked up and said, "You're at a 9, sweetie. This baby is coming!" I absolutely froze inside. A NINE?!? That means I don't have time for an epidural. I was instantly sick inside. I looked at the nurse and pleaded for an epidural. She said she'd notify the anesthesiologist, but she didn't think they'd have time. And just like that, there were nurses all over my room acting as quickly as they could. It was a circus. She checked me again, and within seconds I was at a ten and I felt that baby drop.

Oh my heck.

I wish I could describe the pain. I went into absolute hysterics. I was pale, my eyes were wild, and I was screaming like I've never screamed before. I was NOT mentally, emotionally, or physically prepared to deliver a baby naturally. You know on The Princess Bride when Wesley is in the Life Sucking Machine and he makes the most unearthly, awful scream you've ever heard? I think that's the best I can compare it too. I was completely traumatized and in shock. My body was telling me to stop because it hurt so bad, but I could vaguely see and hear the nurses telling me I had to push. At one point, I remember slapping my hand over my mouth to make myself stop. Jesse says I had him traumatized too. He had no idea I could scream like that. I entered that hospital at 5:37 a.m. Ben was born at 5:57 a.m. A mere 20 minutes after getting out of my car. Good thing there wasn't any traffic. My doctor didn't even make it in time. She said that was the first time she's missed a delivery because it was so fast. The nurses did an amazing job though. I didn't even tear. It took a while for the shock to wear off. The nurses and my doctor kept coming back to ask if I was okay. Not physically, as much as mentally/emotionally okay. They all said I did a "great job" but there's no way. Just by the way they were asking me if I was "okay" and looking so intently at me, I could tell that I had been CRAZY.

Whew... Natural child birth, folks. It's a killer.

But as much as I HATED delivering naturally, the recovery has been KICK BUTT AWESOME. No epidural to wear off, no stitches to take care of... I was up and walking an hour after he was born. Maybe Heavenly Father knew that I needed a better recovery since I have two other crazies to take care of at home. Who knows? But I'm definitely grateful for it.

Ben already LOVES to be held, and always wants his binky. He gave the nurses some trouble last night in the nursery because he was so awake and just wanted attention. I laughed. He was always awake late at night when I was pregnant too. It was nice to pass that off on someone for the night.

He's a handsome little dude. We'll post more pictures soon. Thanks for the congrats! I love you all. :)

Photo dump! And you all wish you had Martha Stewarts for friends. :)

This past Thursday, one of my best friends threw me a baby shower. She's seriously incredible. Watch out Martha Stewart!! And to make it even better, my other best friend took pictures. And made it look even MORE Martha Stewart-esque.

I may possibly have the most talented friends ever.
I'm the lame one of the group.
Oh well.

So! The theme was "She's about to POP!" I can't even begin to describe how appropriate that theme feels like right now.

Me eating Scotcheroos. They are seriously blessings from Heaven. I could eat them ALL DAY LONG. You know, those butterscotch rice krispy treats smothered in chocolate? Oh heavens yes...

POPCORN! Caramel, Root beer, and Kettle. Talk about AWESOME.

Fruit pops, veggie pops, ring pops, pop rocks, marshmallow pops, pizza pops, pot pie pops, scotcheroo pops! She also had this incredible fruit punch that I drank all night long. It was truly ambrosia. Not like your red fruit punch from the store. Like frozen juice and 7up with mashed fruits of heaveness. I don't think I touched the water once.... don't tell my doctor that...

Her decorations were awesome! All around awesome. One day, I'm going to be cool like her.

And this is so her. The creative genius. But not her baby. That would be other brilliantly talented friend's baby.

Belly pic at 39 weeks. I promise I'm really bigger than this!

SNOW DAY #1

On Saturday, it actually snowed. The girls were unbelievably excited. It snowed like .5 inch, but they still wanted to get their clothes on and go play in it. I had to oblige.

SNOW DAY #2

The bishop came in during the opening exercises of YW's to let us know that they were dismissing church. There was probably 2 inches of snow on the ground. That seems SO unbelievably funny to me and Jesse, but I guess it makes sense. Bellevue has no snow removal equipment, no street salt, and there aren't a lot of experienced snow drivers around. So it's dangerous.
Anyway, they sent us home. I know it's Sunday, but we broke down and threw the girls in their snow clothes again and headed outside. The snow will be gone tomorrow. We have to take advantage of it!
And yes, Abby is totally in snow pants that are too small and she's in her rain boots. I realized that I never bought her snow clothes this year. I guess I figured we'd never need them... Whoops.








Happy winter!

BEWARE: I'm spewing. But if you survive, there's a video of Claire.

Sarah, I know you called me three times today. I stared at my phone while it rang. I couldn't bring myself to answer it.

I decided for today that I'm dropping the happy facade. I'm going to write as it is. I've cried myself to sleep so many nights in the last month. I don't even know anymore if it's because we moved. Or if it's just because I desperately miss my family. Or if it's because I'm SO DONE being pregnant. Or maybe it's just the harsh reality of being a young mom with small kids. I read an article recently that stay-at-home moms are more depressed during their children's younger years than working moms. Once their children begin school, then there's no longer a difference. I think I can totally agree with that.

Yesterday, I turned on The Weepies on Pandora. It went through Postal Service, Josh Radin, etc. It was good medicine. But not enough.

Today I wandered ghostlike through my house and I found myself staring at the vitamins. I found it hilarious that our vitamins are in the same cupboard as my candy/treats stash. How appropriate. A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, right? Jesse bought me a stash of vitamin D pills last winter when we first moved here to help with the lack of sunlight. I took them maybe once or twice, and then shoved them behind the Oreos. I HATE taking pills. I've taken allergy pills most of my life, then had to take 9 months worth of monitored TB pills, months of prenatals, and don't even get me started on birth control pills. I hate that idea that everything is solved with a pill. I know, I know. Vitamins are not pills. But I still have to remember to swallow a nasty something that inevitably gets stuck in my throat.

I stared at the pills and realized that I hate taking pills/vitamins, but I hate feeling brain dead more. So maybe it's worth trying Vitamin D.... I make it sound so dramatic. But you try living somewhere where the sun doesn't even shine in the summer.

So here I go. I give it three weeks. If I don't notice anything in three weeks, I'm done with Vitamin D.

.... I used to be such a drama queen. I embarrassed myself many times by my own drama, but at this point I miss my own enthusiasm and craziness. Hmm.

If I don't answer your calls today, it's not because I don't love you. It's because I'm tired, overwhelmed, unbelievably uncomfortable, and I can't pretend to be excited about life today. But I still love you. :)

Can't have a post without a picture. Abby dressed herself today and she was so proud. Very sassy, yes?

This would be the haircut chunk that Abby gave herself while Sarah was here. Oh, that child. She said she was trying to give herself bangs like me. While I'm flattered, I was definitely more furious. Fortunately it blends in well and we mostly pull it back anyway. But still. Her hair grows so slowly that it broke my heart a bit. Boo to child haircuts.

And here is my attempt to upload a video of Claire. She's such a spaz. Good thing we love her. :)

Proof!

Huzzah!!
My sister is here for Christmas!

Okay, so really, she's only here until 4 a.m. on Christmas, but SHE'S HERE!!!

I promised my mother proof that she made it and that we're having fun. So here it is mom! Proof!

Our day started out with me visiting the dentist and then some serious grocery shopping. By the time we got done with all that jazz, it was nap time. So all our of pictures today are from post-naps.

Coloring time! Sarah brought the girls super cute Rudolph coloring books and a princess coloring kit. So we spent some time coloring!

After drawing time, we hit Red Robin for dinner. We ate our fill, spilled chocolate milk, played with the balloons... it was a party. :)

Sarah was taking pictures of the girls with her new phone so I took the opportunity to snap some with my camera. This was the beginning of our movie night. We watched Frosty the Snowman in our pj's with pillows and blankets. The plan was to make pizookies, but none of us had room for treats after dinner. Maybe tomorrow. :)

Claire and Abby are certain Sarah is their favorite person ever right now. Claire is constantly yelling out "SARAH!" She always has to know where Sarah is, and will immediately climb in Sarah's lap if it's made available.... whether Sarah likes it or not. It's super super cute! And Abby is loving having a hide-and-seek buddy. They played for a good 30 mins. today. I'm so glad Sarah came to play with me while Jesse's gone!

Tomorrow: shopping and who knows what else. Stay tuned, mom!

Merry Christmas!

This is the Christmas card Jesse made for us this year. I was pretty happy with it. :) We only sent out a few, so don't feel bad if you didn't get one. It pretty much went to grandparents, great-grandparents, and a few long lost friends.

We've definitely had a crazy year and I don't see it slowing down anytime soon. We're incredibly grateful for Jesse's job and the opportunities it has provided us. I definitely still miss Utah with all my heart, but hopefully I'll adjust better this year. Supposedly the first year is the hardest.

More than anything we're grateful for our Savior Jesus Christ! We're grateful to celebrate his birth this season. We hope you all have had an incredible year filled with blessings, and we pray that this next year will provide you even more! We love you tons!